It’s 10am on a busy Monday morning in NYC. While the big city roars with life, I’ve found a quiet respite underground in a crowded room of 65-yr old ladies.
I’m in the10am hatha yoga class at the local gym on the upper west side (while on vacation visiting my family for a couple days).
Just me and the ladies.
As I was on the ground back bending — picture yourself on your back with a yoga block wedged in between your shoulder blades as you bend backwards over the block – the teacher walks by me, looks down with a nod and says “nice backbend…gymnastics background? Martial arts?”
“Me?”, I said in shock.
I’m thinking..wait a minute, Nick Holt and gymnast in the same sentence — no way, she’s definitely talking to the women next to me. Let’s be clear for second — I’ve gotten “meat head” before..or maybe “the tall guy”. Or the favorite among my ball-busting college friends, ”the big hairy man” — But gymnast? NEVER.
“Yeah YOU” she said with a nod, “nice backbend.”
Whoa. She just labeled me flexible. Are you freakin’ kidding me? Am I dreaming again?
(Just a little side note. As I’ve gone on this journey of fitness over the last 10 years, I’ve become very envious of gymnasts and their effortless display of strength and flexibility. It’s hard to find a stronger pound for pound athlete out there. And the guns. God damn, those gymnasts have freakin’ guns. You could say I’m a little obsessed with gymnasts).
Never in my life had I been asked if I did gymnastics? I mean, I have long limbs and a short torso, that’s not exactly the ideal build for gymnastics. Maybe she saw a dude with some muscles and assumed I fit the pattern of the typical tight and inflexible gym bro? Or maybe she was just being nice.
Who the hell knows? All I knew was that she stroked my ego and it felt good.
Maybe all that daily stretching routine is working. And I finally got some external validation!!
Me, Nick Holt, being classified as flexible? If you told my former stiff-as-a-board self this 5 years ago, I would have called bullshit.
No fucking way.
But here we are – fall of 2017 and I am officially flexible in the eyes of one yoga teacher. She said it and I’m owning it!
As I started to ponder this new flexible existence, I thought to myself — who really gives a shit?
Sure, the praise feels good on the ego and I look good in a class of super experienced yogis. Maybe some people are impressed with my abilities. Maybe.
But who really gives a fuck? Does that matter in the grand scheme of things?
Why Internal Drive Trumps External Rewards
I wanted to go deeper. Why do I REALLY do all this stuff everyday?
Why do I wake up and do breathing drills and stretching exercises every morning?
Why do I go to yoga 3x per week?
Why do I lift heavy weights at least once a week?
Why do I as a personal trainer hire other trainers to help coach me?
Is it to get external validation? No.
Why? Because I want to get better.
There’s an inner drive present. It’s a core belief within myself that I can do anything that I put my mind to. That is so much more powerful than the external rewards of validation — like the one I received from the yoga teacher.
The main point I want to make is that I got to this current flexible place in my life not because of the external validation, but because of the internal drive.
Having a strong inner drive is playing the long game. It’s not being tied to immediate gratification and instead, it’s all about embracing the journey.
And it’s deeply personal. For me:
- It’s about having the inner drive to be a better human being.
- It’s about the drive that I believe in myself to change what I once thought was unchangeable.
- It’s about creating and maintaining a strong, durable body that allows me to experience immense amounts of joy playing tennis, going surfing, lifting weights, or exploring this glorious planet.
- It’s about the confidence to push myself physically to uncomfortable places so that I can grow mentally.
- It’s about the mental sharpness I get from moving my body every day.
All this internal stuff is what gets me up in the morning.
This is why I start my day with 5 minutes of morning movement mobility – https://youtu.be/6vNwdtGQNyk – even on days when I don’t feel like it.
It’s what pushes me to commit to at least 3 yoga classes per week, no matter what.
It’s what pushes me to make pretty good choices most of the time with my diet.
Who really gives a shit about what the yoga teacher says. Thank you yoga teacher, but really, who cares.
Internal drive lies at the heart of our active passion message. Do that sport / activity that brings you joy. Don’t force it. Take the time to find it. Here are a few quick articles that explain more:
Active Passion – Exercise That Needs No Motivation
What’s Missing From Your Exercise Program — Active Passion
Active Passion: Unlock Your Motivation to Stay Fit For Life
Of course there is a time and place for external rewards. We are human beings after all, and we certainly do respond to incentives. But at the end of the day, discovering that inner drive for yourself is the work that will continue to pay dividends for the rest of your life.
The Practicing Mind
In his great book “Practicing Mind”, author Thomas Sterner talks about how the practicing of the goal is really the skill you’re after.
“When we subtly shift toward both focusing on and finding joy in the process of achieving instead of having the goal, we have gained a new skill. And once mastered, it is magical and incredibly empowering.”
So in other words, the skill is in practicing the goal, not the goal itself.
Sure, getting the compliments help, but don’t rely on the external rewards and you’ll save yourself a lot of time and energy. The external stuff is completely out of your control. It’s relying on another person’s state of mind. It’s unpredictable. Unreliable.
Do the work, show up every day and enjoy the journey.
At its most basic level, the practicing mind is all about coming back to the present moment. It’s what keeps you grounded to what’s really important. It’s what allows you to press forward when the going gets tough.
You’ll never reach a level of performance that feels complete so learn to love the art of practicing.
Love the journey, breathe into the moment, and focus on what’s important.
Now I want to hear from you. What drives you? What internal fire are you stoking?
If you want further reading on the matter, check out these awesome books:
- The Practicing Mind
- The Ego is the Enemy
- The War of Art
That’s all for today. We’ll talk soon,
Nick
P.S. If you want to get more flexible, move and feel better in your body, I’ve created a FREE 5-day video training series that will help you out. Sign up here and receive your first video right away!
